If you’re still struggling to follow your rules and be successful as a trader, try out this tool I use and see if it helps. It’s a simple tool I’ve used with several traders to help them deal with a specific area that bothers them and consequently affects their trading.
If you are holding resentment, anger, fear, or another negative or uncomfortable emotion from the past, it’s likely interfering in your trading now–believe it or not. For example, if you still have anger toward a parent for something that happened in the past or the way they treated you growing up. This could be having a direct negative impact on your trading now.
Although this might sound strange and unrelated to your trading, it isn’t. I have seen this correlation in traders over and over.
As a coach, part of what I do is help identify triggers from the past that are affecting the trader in the present. So today, I will show you a simple tool that may be helpful if you find yourself in a position like this. If you are aware of a feeling, resentment, grudge, grievance, etc. from the past, try this out. (By the way, journaling your feelings / thoughts about your trades can help you get in touch with these feelings.)
The tool is simply to write a letter to your parent (or the person who has caused you this emotional residue). Don’t send the letter but just write it for you. Allow yourself to express to your fullest the feelings — resentments, fears, anger, hatred, regret, envy, etc. whatever it is that you experience. Get it out. Write as much as you can and allow yourself to get as much out as you can.
You’re not going to send the letter because that would just be hurtful and most likely wouldn’t help anyone. The point is just to get these emotions up and out of you. Take your time. Scream, yell, cry if you need to. Just let it all out. If the person is deceased, that is okay, you can still write the letter.
When you come back to your trading, see if something has shifted or if you feel lighter. Sometimes, more than one letter is called for. You might write a second or third one to get through the “layers” of the feelings you have.
I have seen the use of a letter like this have profound impact on someone’s state of mind and therefore on their trading.
Give it a try. And, let me know how it goes!